The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
