I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Rumble strips road head = magical
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
