So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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