Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
