I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize