I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
