She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
