you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize