you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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