The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Less talking, more tequila
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
