Soap is not a condiment
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I think my moral compass just broke
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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