He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Damn victory sex feels great
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
