You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize