in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
