do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
