We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
