cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
