Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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