I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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