You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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