the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
