That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
