FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think my fart just growled at me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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