I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize