Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
