if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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