Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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