I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
