That's intense
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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