I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
