Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize