smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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