I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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