I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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