You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize