Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
