i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
