i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
