as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
