is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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