I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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