Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Where is the hickey?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
