your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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