I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am available for nakedness
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
