I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
