I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
