so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
