dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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