You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize