I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
