Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
