"it" just moved
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
