sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
did i just pee glitter
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
