all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The air was thick with penises
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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