mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
