i jhust puked up my retainher.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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