Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
