And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Alive.
So much puke
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
