how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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