Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
