you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
