You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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